MéShelle Fae

Not all authors can say they’ve been writing their whole life, including me.

My relationship with the “ink and quill” didn’t formally kick off until I was 10 years old. Half bribed, half dragged into a chair by my 5th-grade teacher, I had a piece of paper and a pencil and the promise that I could skip lunch, recess, art, and music so that I would have time to finish a poem on “Backgrounds” for some arbitrary elementary school competition. Why was I so lucky that I had the opportunity to skip all of my FAVORITE out-of-class activities? Well, my teacher waited until the last day for submissions to tell me that there was a contest. I was excited about rising to the occasion (although I silently resented missing lunch with my friends and eating with her in the classroom). Besides, I knew I wouldn’t need that many hours to complete the task. As a matter of fact, I set a goal to be finished before the music class ended with enough time to sing a few bars before art. I reached that goal and then some. My piece that was barely submitted on time ranked #1 in the Clayton County School District and continued on to place in the top 10 in the state of Georgia.

That went a long way to boost the confidence of a kid who’d just hit double digits and felt like it was time to start making something of herself. Great grades just weren’t as exciting or challenging for me by that time (to be honest, that trend would become a problem for me in college, but that’s a story for another day!), so I needed an outlet. Writing seemed like an interesting venture.

I had a lot of pent-up words to share…even if I just shared them with me.

So, I started with notes and poems and thoughts. Suddenly, everyone knew about my award-winning debut as a poet. There were spare journals, diaries, notebooks and all manner of floral, sparkly, pastel stationery in my room. They seemed to be taking root and sprouting out of the walls, under the covers, inside the drawers, and behind the closed doors of the closet. Every birthday, Christmas, moving day, spring cleaning, or “just because it’s Wednesday” gift featured something to write with or on. The expectation was obvious (yet mostly unspoken)…so was the pressure.

I put away the pen almost as quickly as I’d picked him up. It began to seem more like extra homework to me than free and fun. Of course, I didn’t know it back then, but while writing is my love and my passion, it would always dominate me as well, cracking the whip and taking no prisoners. To be good at writing, it would cost me more energy than video games, and to be great, it would cost me all the negative habits and mindsets that I didn’t want to lose. There was no love lost though. I was just a kid, and it was “just” a hobby.

I was about 16 when I met up with my former love again, and that’s when I really wanted to show him a good time. Except I wasn’t the same girl he’d fallen for back in elementary school. I wasn’t the same girl I’D fallen for back in elementary school. By that point, I’d met new people, had new experiences, and found new loves. I wasn’t as forthcoming anymore. Some parts of me were no longer available to

discuss or even acknowledge. The mutual trust and honesty I shared with a pen and a blank sheet of paper was long broken by unshed tears and forbidden secrets. Whatever I wrote down sounded rehearsed and forced; frankly, my writing during my teenage years just sucked. Unlike my friends who had dedicated journals and diaries, my teen time did not feature good years for me as a writer…mostly because they were just so confused for me as a person.

Luckily, my love and I would be given another chance to rekindle. They say if you love something let it go, and it if comes back…

For me, writing shows me who I am. I can read what I’m saying, and more importantly…what I’m not saying…and get a great picture of what I’m experiencing in life at that moment. Growing as a writer has helped me to grow as a person. The times when I’ve been my most loquacious were the periods of extreme personal and emotional growth, self-love, and a deeper understanding of my mind and my needs. Many times when I’ve gone months or even a year without a new word on the page were times of great turmoil or upheaval for me. Usually, if I can’t write, it’s because there’s a truth that I’m running away from and haven’t come to terms with. Yet.

But the great thing about my relationship with writing [and this is the point I’ve wanted to share with you!] is that my love is always here. Ready to pick me back up and take me to the next level of self-discovery on my journey. To now have an opportunity to monetize my passion is AMAZING…but being in a place where my passion allows me to mentor others on their own transformative journies is more than priceless…

It’s transcendent.

Let me know in the comments or shoot me an email about what makes you write and why writing matters in your life.

Remember: I can’t wait to read what you’re writing.

Reprinted from www.meshellefae.com with permission of the author.

Related Posts
Filter by
Post Page
Essays/Articles (all) Featured Fiction New Fiction Why I Write
Sort by

“5 Steps to Better Worldbuilding”

Every writer and poet can benefit from a lesson or review in worldbuilding since no
2018-10-05 21:04:56
meshellefae

8

“Tourists”

Coach unzips his blue tracksuit, zipper fizzling down the suede, as the wind carries the sound off the bluffs at the
2019-09-23 11:04:54
kyledillon

0

“We Need Stories”

I enjoy the tales we need to tell, the restless narratives that keep people from drinking bleach or
2019-09-20 23:44:43
rusheby

0

Why I Write: Jim Powell

Old School Mission [for “Why I Write”] I’m writing this essay in March 2018, eleven days out of an ele
2019-09-16 23:45:09
jepowell

0

“Pen — or Pencil — For Hire”

If the unfinished manuscript in your desk drawer is anything to go by, you have succumbed on occasion to the
2019-09-13 23:43:58
learmont

0

“Been Ingenious”

People called Ricky ingenious whether they thought it true or not. Most folks choose to remain blithely ignorant to
2019-09-09 11:06:24
jason-graff

0

“Bellwether”

Through the seventeenth century, Europeans believed ringing church bells would
2019-09-06 23:43:12
gagesaylor

0

“Seven Signatures”

I   Not his name or a first crush or even the harsh assertion of a cuss word but an arrow, carved
2019-09-04 09:41:26
acjones

0

“The Colors of Pain”

“Gut pain’s always the worst,” says the medic. I could tell him he’s right, but I want to keep my pain p
2019-09-02 10:58:28
skip

0

“There is Always So Much”

What we did that summer: we hung around torn-down barns and took photos of each other with that old camera and
2019-08-30 23:41:29
mattliebowitz4

0

About MéShelle Fae

Author. Poet. Mentor. Tawanah Reeves, also known as MéShelle Fae, has a passion for teaching and developing others, which led to the creation of 'meshellefae.com,' her online blog for writers who want to hone their craft or learn how to tell their stories on a digital platform. She's an avid reader of anything she finds interesting and thinks of herself as 'the ultimate geeky, weird nerd-girl.' She's a resident of Charleston, SC where she operates a literacy and mentorship program called The Writers' Block.