When out of town on a business trip, do not get caught up in the moment. Remain emotionally-neutral whenever possible.
For example, it is not advisable to send the following text to your wife (especially when she’s postpartum and crutched by Prozac): “Eating solo at IHOP for bkfast. Waitress has awesome tits! Reminds me of u.”
Brandon learns this lesson the hard way five minutes after his index finger, sticky with syrup, hits the Send button. While paying his bill, the cell phone vibrates in his pocket like a hornet about to sting.